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A scene in the most excellent animated film "Triplets of Belleville" has 3 cyclists who have been kidnapped from the Tour de France, riding stationary cycles in front of a large projection screen showing footage of a moving mountain road. Lining the road on the projection screen are adoring fans, trees and shadows, implying glorious sunny weather. This is significant because the 3 kidnapped cyclists are in a cavernous, dank warehouse somewhere in Europe surrounded by corrupt gangsters and business men who are wagering large sums of money on the 3 cyclists riding stationary bikes in front of the projection screen. The stationary bikes are connected with large chains to a contraption, which measures their respective output, and eventually I'm sure one of the cyclists would finish "first" at the end of the projection loop of road scenes and a gambler would get a large pay off. One gets the impression from watching this drama play out that it matters not to the gaunt, hollow eyed, expressionless cyclists that they are riding in front of a projection screen and they are not moving while they "race". The animator does a wonderful job of providing the viewer with the sense that the cyclists are fully engaged in the occupation of simply pushing the pedals. Indeed, it matters not throughout the film whether the cyclists are riding up mountains, along seacoast, in dingy towns during rainstorms or in a warehouse in front of projected road scenery - there is fulfillment of purpose in simply pushing the pedals, stroke after countless stroke. The film isn't about cycling so much as it is about the love of a mother in helping her young son develop a talent, achieve a destiny and ultimately rescuing him when that destiny is threatened, but that's a different discussion for a different time. The question is, does it really matter if you're not moving forward as long as your efforts are being monitored? To 150 or so cyclists who gather 5 times a winter for the ABD Cycle Club Indoor Time Trial Series in the basement of the Wheaton Community Center, the answer is apparently no. From January 11 to March 27 cyclists have the opportunity to hook their bikes up to a Computrainer™ to do 10k Time Trials. It's not so much "fun" as it is good training. I personally would not make myself do 14-15 minutes of all out effort on my trainer at home. The indoor TT's provide us an opportunity to test our legs out on days when typically the Midwest weather his abysmal. Yesterday instead of riding outdoors where it was 35 degrees and a 40 mph wind was blowing steadily from the West, I was blasting away in front of a computer monitor depicting scenes from what appeared to be Arizona. When one lives in the Midwest, one has to choose their poison. I'm sure not even the Belgians would be out training on a day like Sunday, March 7 in IL. I accept as truth the assertion of Rev. Bill Stone that time trials are not bike races. Hence, indoor Computrainer™ time trials are even less affiliated with bike racing by definition. Thus, I won't bore you with stories of gear ratio, pedal cadence and hypothetical 10k times on hypothetical courses under hypothetical weather conditions. However, a few things happened yesterday that I thought merit mention. The Weigh In In order to calibrate the computers correctly each rider is asked to step on a scale in full cycling regalia while holding their bike. As I stepped on the basement of the Wheaton Community Center was abuzz with the sounds of stationary trainers, rollers, wind fans and conversation about which is better for recovery, whey or soy based protein shakes. As the person at the scale announced my weight with my bike "423.8 pounds", the place instantly went quiet. Jaws dropped. The whole basement full of people including those in the adjacent health club stopped what they were doing and stared at me. Feeling a bit self-conscious, I sheepishly offered, "Uh, I got my heavy training wheel set on the bike. They add some weight". Existing to Push the Pedals It occurred to me while I was punishing myself during the first 10k TT of the day that everyone in the basement is very much like the 3 kidnapped cyclists in "The Triplets of Belleville". We don't get the pleasure of making our bikes move forward. The scenery of meandering desert road displayed before us on the computer screen is a cruel mirage. Better than what exists outdoors, but a mirage none the less. I put myself in the frame of mind that must have motivated the gaunt, hollow eyed cyclists in the film and pushed the pedals. I finished with a 404 watt average and a decent hypothetical time. I think my max wattage was 900. Do you need brakes if you're not going anywhere? The above could likely be asked in college philosophy class and thoughtful discussion would ensue. But we're cyclists. Thoughtful discussion and cycling mix about as well as the Sierra Club and The Department of the Interior under George W Bush, so we won't push the envelope. USPS Master Team member and Pan Am Games Gold Medalist Tom Doughty and his stunning wife June had decided to take a break from their day of leisure and visit the Wheaton Community Center. I can certainly think of better ways to kill 20 minutes than watching Computrainer™ induced self-flagellation, but Tom is more than just a successful businessman. He's a cyclist. It's completely understandable that he would choose to waste precious minutes of his life viewing such stoopid sport. Never the less it was good to exchange pleasantries and catch up, but I had another hypothetical TT to do. Despite my judgment that it was a waste of Tom's time for him to make an appearance, it would only take about 9 minutes for him to make me glad he decided to show up and watch. During
the second time trial of the day my legs were immediately hurting.
I was struggling to generate wattage in the 340 range. John Puffer
who is quite a studly bike racer was next to me "cooling down"
and riding at a moderate pace. He was generating similar wattage.
He was talking and breathing easy. I was hypoxic and ready to puke;
my legs were on fire. After 5 of the hypothetical 10K I was on pace
to finish some time just before noon on the Tuesday the 9th. I mean
I was struggling. I think my average speed was around 22 hypothetical
miles per and heading south. Just about then, Tom noticed that my
rear brake was resting snuggly against the wheel. Doughty opened up the brakes and my wattage shot up to 420. Thanks to Tom and his technical understanding of bicycle mechanics I was able to finish the second half of the TT before the Community Center closed up for the night. If "Triplets of Belleville" is still playing at the proverbial theater near you, it's worth the $98.95 you'll spend for the ticket and popcorn, and a better use of time than watching real cyclists riding Computrainers™. Cartoons are much more fun. Till next time, Druber
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