In the (Feed)Zone
w/Mark Swartzendruber

MASTERS NATIONAL ROAD RACE
ALL ABOUT THE THURLOW THROWDOW

I left my last post, noting that I did not expect the road race to go particularly well. I'm 6'1" and I weigh anywhere between 178 and 182 lb depending on the quality of my bowel movements. I subsist on a strict diet of powdered sugar donuts and liquor. There is only so much climbing my body can take before my legs flip my brain the bird and give it the big "F.U. Buddy" and shut down. The road course at 7 Springs Resort had 3 main obstacles. A 21% 150 meter long wall, a 1 mile 9% climb on highway 653 - both of which were tackled 4 times and then an 8k climb between 7% and 11% to bring the race back into the finishing loop at 7 Springs which closed with a 2k climb to the finish line.

I was fine on the wall, I can generate some torque for short periods and I used the wall to launch a couple of attacks that I had hoped would entice a group to splinter off to chase and catch me to work together toward the finish. It was my only hope for a top 10 finish. At one point about 20 miles into the race I had a 1 minute gap on the field, but when I asked the moto official if the group was together or if a chase group had developed when the gap was down to 35 seconds, he told me the group was all together. I decided to soft pedal until I got caught which was inevitable. For the next 25 miles the group continued to get smaller every time up the Rt 653 climb, on which I had to turn myself inside out just to maintain contact with the front group.

On lap 3 a group of 4 went off the front on the Rt. 653 climb and maintained a gap of roughly 20 sec. Up to that point the field had been playing a game of "follow the Thrulow", a game which Thurlow accepted with bemused ambivalence. Between the 4th trip up the wall and the Rt. 653 climb Thurlow decided that it was time for him to fly the coup. Just to show that he could do and to demonstrate his derision on those playing "follow the Thurlow" during all of his previous test attacks, he made his move on a slightly downhill section of the course rather than waiting for the big climb. I gave chase for about a mile but I could never close the gap down to any more than about 30 meters. With the field in hot pursuit and completely gassed I sat up, which the field did as well and off went Thurlow to catch and drop the 4 leaders and win the race.

I plodded in at 22nd place. I was able to maintain contact with the front bunch until the race detonated into groups of 1-3 riders on the 8k finale. Check out the finish times at www.usacycling.org to check out the time gaps on the finishers. Human shrapnel could be seen strewn all over that mountain road.

MASTERS NATZ TT ADENDUM

Hey kids, this is fun. Check out the link below. This is what the smart guys who can't go fast do when the dumb guys who can go fast are out training. The smart guys pick apart the dumb guys aero positions and tire choices and speculate about how fast the fast guys could go if only they were as smart as the smart guys.

http://biketechreview.com

The most audacious thing I saw on the board was the post in which this guy…

than the Smart Guy with the "conventional wisdom" position does.

The other notable item of similarity that stands out upon closer review of the photos of Fabian and Thurlow is this: They're both wearing rainbow stripes. I do not see any rainbow stripes on the generic kit of the Smart Guy. Jeezus, talk about gravitas…

And for the record, do I truly believe that I would have beaten Thurlow had I used the recommended Michelin Pro Race 2 clinchers with latex tubes? Not on your life. In fact I believe that the more likely outcome of me riding the Masters National TT with Michelin Pro Race 2 clincher tires and latex tubes would be a flat tire and a DNF.

This is the end of that piffle.

MASTERS DOING STOOPID THINGS

There were no sightings of Masters doing stooped things this week.

Next time...select Super Week stages.