Race Chronicles 01-99

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Race Chronicles: Lascia Correre; Training; Charlatans; and Quiz Answer

February 26, 1999
by Bill Stone

Was at Deer Valley getting boots fixed on a morning with eight inches of powder and the biggest decision of the day being which cornice to jump when some guy in a giant red ski suit and a propeller on his helmet came in and told the boot worker to help his friend as they were in a hurry. Took wife’s advise and didn’t tell him to sit his fat rear in the chair and wait and instead engaged the guy in conversation while his friend, a former Israeli Tank Commander, tried to pretend he didn’t know the guy. Soon learned that he owned practically the biggest house in Deer Valley and skied over sixty days a year and ran a business where little computers spoke to big computers. So, told the boot guy to fix him up fast as he was taking all the air. Was quite proud of taking wife’s advice to "let things go" or more poetically "lascia correre." Now, you’ll be surprised to learn that exhibiting this type of grownup behavior is difficult. Alas, the next day ran into the guy on the slopes and darling levelheaded wife was no where in sight. Today he had on a one piece purple ski suit, referred to by all ski instructors as a "fag bag." On the back was an USA Ski Team Sticker. Watched him flounder and fall in the foot deep powder and for the first time in life resisted the temptation to tell him that he’d probably rather have less money and be a better skier. Instead offered to help him get up. So, what’s the point of this self-congratulatory story? Bike racing is not skiing; it’s not cool enough. More to the point a year’s worth of self control was used up in just those two days.

Nevertheless, was determined to carry this spirit into the season and go easy on favorite foils. But then they go and make it impossible. It seems that the Hand Guys took a road trip on Valentine’s day to a USCF race in Ohio. First thought was that making a trip to race in the freezing cold on such a day of romance says something about the state of these Guys’ personal lives. If you have no life racing in February is probably okay although there is no evidence that it does anything but give you illnesses that can then be used to explain poor summer performances. "I just never recovered from that effort I made on the big climb in the Hibernation Race" or "I’m just exhausted from helping the guys bridge gaps at Hollow Valley." Parenthetically, your author expects to do the same number of spring races as the last two years, which means a half of a race. Anyway, it seems that the Guys have morphed into professionals and thus in preparation for Het Volk or the Bumblebees training series have determined that it is necessary to do these polar bear races in order to earn international qualifying points. Apparently about thirty people showed up for all the races. There is a break and someone wins and he is not a Guy. But that’s not the story. On the last lap some non Guy rides away from the field and gets 5^th place. The race had been advertised as paying $100 for seven places. However, the USCF Promoter apparently couldn’t make enough from the $25 (with late fees) entry fees and thus cut the prize list to five deep. This is wrong and the promoter should have been tied up and left to freeze. Fortunately for the Chronicles, the pro Guys couldn’t just let it go. They now claim that had it been known that the race only paid five places they would never have "let" the fifth place rider "go" away on the last lap. In every race in the history of amateur racing in the United States someone has been responsible for just "letting him, her, or they go." Of course, the racer doing the complaining couldn’t do anything about it because he was at the back, checking the average speed, only using the race for training, not going exceed his lactate threshold, had just taken a gigantic pull, was busy opening a power bar, just wasn’t into it, had a guy in the break that had already crossed the finish line, or didn’t want to compromise his chances in the field sprint. Only in American bike racing is it not incongruous for a team to give away fifth to an undeserving fluke for a chance to get seventh. Unfortunately, the entire episode cost the Guys enough international points that they are lodging an official protest with the USCF. Now, for the past three years the Pucks have attempted to get License Stickers from the USCF for rider’s whose licenses come back unattached. Perhaps they are better at getting money from promoters who cheat riders. Don’t wait for the postman. Suggest you let it go.

If anyone knows the name of the USCF person in charge of Indiana please email the Chronicles.

It was requested that the Chronicles discuss training plans. Trying to take this seriously the Chronicles research team spend a day reading training manuals, training bibles, and books about riding after fifty. Then another cold day was spent programming computer with the latest training software. Finally, intensive discussions were conducted with some guys who have actually won races. Here are the synthesized results. It seems that everyone agrees that the fast guys always win. (Of course, this does not include those fluke races, which seem to occur every weekend when for unknown reasons the field lets some non-fast guy go.) Therefore, training should be directed towards preparing to race fast or in finding an algorithm that predicts those races where a slow guy will be permitted to just ride away while the fast guys say, "let him go." Apparently, the fast guys train faster than the slow guys. This is accomplished by riding at a rate plus or minus something called a lactate threshold. This is the point where your muscles fall off your bones and you shouldn’t exceed this without good health insurance. You can determine your lactate threshold by going to a scientist who will take your blood until you pass out or you can drink milk until you throw up. Once you find this lactate point you should train near it some days and not near it on other days. Now, make certain you don’t confuse this with a Conconi test. This is where you go faster and faster on a graph until you can’t breathe. You correlate this with the point where your heart rate goes off into space. Then you go out and train near this point some days and not near it on others.

It is also important to have goals. These have to be long term, mid term and short term and you have to take a test each term unless you are a law student and then you only take one test a year which is why lawyers pass out whenever the word test comes up. After you have set goals you have to set dream goals and realistic goals. Going out with an exotic dancer is not a realistic goal. Going out with Marilyn Quayle is a nightmare. Set your goals in between. After this you set it all up on a calendar. Then ask your wife if it’s okay to go for a ride. Of course, drugs do work and appear to be a necessary part of all professional training plans.

Finally, you need to become psychologically fit. The best way to do this is to come up with action words that enable you to concentrate on the body mechanics that will free you from fear and enable you to realize the benefits of the process of racing which will inevitably lead to the personal victories that you visualized late at night. Of course, this also means that you have to let go of excuses not to mention not letting unworthy guys just go away. No one said it would be easy. Any questions please email the Chronicles.

As you know the Chronicles hold religious hucksters and other charlatans in great esteem. However, even the Chronicles have standards, low that they are. In the course of researching this training issue some articles by a gentleman named Maffetone were consulted. This gentleman is listed as practicing complementary medicine. This is like saying a gangster practices complementary jurisprudence or a drunk driver practices complementary undertaking services simply because they keep the courts and funerals busy. Whenever someone puts a lot of initials after his name and they are not M.D. you can pretty much count on him or her having a case of hubris and a book full of unsubstantiated nonsense for sale. Now, by training Mr. Maffetone is a chiropractor and not even the arrogant Chronicles would begin to question his knowledge of spines. If you want to believe that all health is determined by sub clinical pressure on nerves than that is your choice and Mr. Maffetone can preach this without any comment from this column. However, when he attempts to discuss real medical matters on the authority of being a complementary heath provider then he is entitled to no license. You ask for an example. Mr. Maffetone writes that eating sugar may cause diabetes. Note the use of the weasel word "may." He clearly wants people to believe that using sugar instead of his high protein and fat diet will cause sickness including diabetes. This is part of his overall hypothesis that carbohydrates cause you to be unhealthy because they cause the release of insulin that somehow makes you feel bad. This is the same insanity that was packaged and sold by some guy named Sears. Well here is the truth. Eating sugar does not cause diabetes. Before making this statement the Chronicles checked with a nationally known endocrinologist and he agreed. So, what does it matter that Mr. Maffetone gives succor to this widely held belief? He and many others would like athletes to belief that it is necessary for them to abandon carbohydrate rich diets. The logic offered in support of their eating plans is something like this:

Eating carbohydrates (forever on referred to as sugar) causes the body to secrete insulin.

Insulin causes sugar to removed from the blood.

Blood sugar then drops and an athlete is tired because he has no sugar in his blood and of course his performance suffers.

The removed sugar is stored as fat.

From this these gentlemen conclude that eating sugar is bad. They then suggest that you eat more protein and more fat. Then citing a couple of obscure studies or their own anecdotal evidence they contend that eating fat will make you burn fat better and because fat is somewhat handled differently than sugar an athlete will avoid all the horrors of having insulin in their blood stream. The logical conclusion to this syllogistic theory is that if insulin could be kept out of the blood then athletes would be in great shape. NONSENSE.

The truth is that if you don’t have insulin in your bloodstream you eventually go into a coma and die. Now, as followers of the Chronicles know there are a lot of racers who are most certainly brain dead. They may or may not follow one of these goofy diets; however, the kind of dead we’re addressing here is the no carrot wave type. Explain, you ask! A person with a properly functioning endocrine system generally will have blood sugar levels in the range of 60 to120. So, when a person eats and blood sugar levels rise the body releases insulin into the blood steam and this enables sugar to be transported across the cell membranes. If muscles require sugar then the bloodstream carries the sugar to those muscles. Unneeded sugar is then stored in the liver, in the muscles or if you eat more than you need as fat. As a healthy athlete goes about his normal activities or as he exercises the endocrine system continues to work so as to keep blood sugar levels in the optimum range. For example intense exercise requires that sugar be moved from the liver or other storage sites to the muscles that require fuel. Insulin in the blood permits this sugar to be placed into the bloodstream to be transported to the appropriate muscle sites. An athlete with a healthy endocrine system simply does not have to greatly concerned about how much insulin he or she has in the blood. Insulin will be released only in the amounts necessary to keep blood sugar levels at appropriate levels. Whether you eat too much sugar is only important to the extent you don’t need fuel in which case it is stored as fat. It is simply self indulgent for athletes to prattle on about their blood sugar levels. Ask any diabetic athlete how much fun it is to check their blood sugar several times a day and inject insulin just so they can have blood sugar levels that approximate normal levels. The fact is that these complementary health care providers are the heirs to medicine men who sold heroin in liquor as magic elixir. Not exactly accurate because at least the elixir contained something that actually worked; but you get the point.

Next column the Chronicles medical section will address the gylcemic index.

QUIZ ANSWER:

The Chronicles were most disappointed that not a single person wrote in to answer the Christmas Special Quiz. The question was why there is always a crash in the last lap of a Cat III race. Generally, in a Cat III race the riders can go pretty fast. However, as they approach turns the speed decreases. Now, at slower speed more racers can get through a corner at one time. This is because at slower speeds each rider needs less distance to execute a turn. However, as speed increases so to does the distance required to exit the turn. Of course, this increased distance requirement means that each rider must ride closer to the apex of the turn. Hence the often heard comment that at speed there is only one line, or more correctly, one arc through a turn.

Now we all know that Cat IIIs ride about 40 MPH until the last lap when the speed goes up to about 50, and at this increased speed it is not possible for the normal twelve abreast riders to get through the last turn at the same time. The first five or six guys who are single file get through and of course they are going to win regardless of how fast the guy in fifteenth thinks he can sprint. So, the next five or six guys come into the turn bunched up and of course the guys on the outside run out of room and hit the curb and then the next bunch runs into them and then the call goes out for skin donors. Now, aren’t you all ashamed that you didn’t even try to answer? Well you are going to get another chance.

Please explain why riders fall down in cross winds? And here is a clue. Its not because someone overlaps a wheel. Send your answers to bstone@hsonline.net.

While in Utah darling wife insisted we go to Snowbird and ski off the tram. It was zero and they shut down some lifts because of the gale winds. It was still more fun than winter training with Grant.

Finally, Linda has graciously agreed to send the Chronicles to cover Tirreno-Adriatico. Puck Dennis is coming along to carry the bags and to score some EPO from the hotel trash. You can expect a full report.

Stay inside until it warms up.

Bill Stone